Passivism

I have had a nagging issue this semester. No need to go into details; specific stories are not necessary because I'm sure that everyone has experienced this to some degree at some point in their life. My passive nature has been becoming increasingly frustrating as I want to strive for the best, not only for myself, but for those around me as well. The main balance that I'm trying to find is bringing those around me up without coming off as judgmental. I want to inspire others to be there best that they can be.

It's really interesting: actually telling somebody that I want them to be the best that they can be seems corny and weird; I feel like that is common in society and yet it is so easy for us to throw out words that offend and hurt others. Why is it so easy for us to inflict pain on the people around us, and it is so hard for us to share with the people around us how much we care about them. Which brings up another point, what does it mean to care about someone? Does it mean that we just do whatever it takes to make sure that we're both just happy, warm, and fuzzy all of the time. Well, no. Not necessarily. Sometimes caring for someone means calling them out on behavior that is inappropriate or harmful. I want people to do that for me if I get out of line (which I know has happened plenty). It certainly is hard, but that is what this world is lacking - people who care enough to speak up and take a stand. We're all just taught to "get along" and "agree to disagree." Apathy. It's the worst thing that we can do to ourselves. "If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything." Now, I'm certainly not saying that I want to go out and lay the hammer down on anyone and everyone who missteps. My purpose here is not to play the judge. But my purpose here is also not to allow the people around me to fall into habits and actions that are potentially harmful to themselves or others. Loving them always. If you happen to have a sure-fire exact equation for how to find that balance, please let me know. Well, I'm done preaching. Take it for what it's worth. My reflection of life experiences. Certainly far from an exact science.

Childhood Memories...Meet College Night

One of my favorite memories growing up was going to the pumpkin patch every year. A couple of vivid memories were when my oldest brother was learning how to drive and I was sitting on the tailgate of our big blue Suburban. He took it a little too fast going on the rough dirt road, hit a bump and I hit my head on the rear hatch window. (Surprised I remembered). The next one was a little less painful. I, myself, learned how to drive at the pumpkin patch. The car that I learned on was an F-150 with a stick shift which ended up being the car that I got to drive for the rest of my high school career.





















Well, this weekend held in store neither a tender bump on the head or any dirt road driving lessons, but yet another Halloween memory was made. My fraternity's date party was planned on the perfect night. Who knew that pumpkin patches had a college night? Discount! We did it all. There was a huge fire; we messed around on all of the rural equipment; took a really scary hay ride; and slid down the hill slides that they had set up. We even made up some fun of our own - a couple scenes of a horror film and a few trust falls. I personally capped off the evening with a warm cup of apple cider and of course...a pumpkin!!! Next on the agenda is roasted pumpkin seeds and an attempt at pumpkin pie...from scratch. I'll be sure to let you know how it turns out.

"Mary Time"

The story of Mary and Martha is one that teaches us how to find the balance between working and finding time to relax. Martha overwhelms herself thinking that she always has to be working in order for her time to be worthwhile. Mary on the other hand, spends her time in the story talking with Jesus. When Martha accuses Mary of not working, Jesus teaches Martha that Mary's time with Him was equally necessary. Nutshell overview of the story.

This fall break, I planned on catching up (and possibly getting a little bit ahead). Well, the body has an interesting way of telling you that you need to just relax for a couple of days. Zero motivation. Unbelievably tired. Instead of hitting the books hard this weekend, I enjoyed the time off and recouped from possible overexertion over the past couple of months.

I have pretty much been on the go trying to anything and everything I can to make sure that my senior year is memorable and fruitful. Over the last week or two, I have not taken the time to just relax and be. This weekend was the perfect opportunity and my body told me to take advantage of it. With six more weeks ahead of me with plenty of work to do, I hope to be able to find the pockets of time to allow myself to take a breather rather than stay in 5th gear for six straight weeks only to collapse for an entire weekend. It's an important lesson to learn. And it's difficult sometimes because personally, I sometimes feel like if I'm not doing something I'm letting someone else down. Yet another lesson in humility. I'm simply not capable of doing everything for everyone. I was talking to a friend last week and I had given her this advice, "You're not that important." She had given the same advice to one of her friends recently. It's funny that all three of us really needed to hear it. The important things will get done when they need to be done. In the times that we can't make it to spend time with friends, there will be other times.

Life. 200mph

NASCAR!!! My fraternity had a fundraiser at the Kansas Speedway this weekend. Now, I do not really enjoy any surface level aspect that NASCAR has to offer: cars going around a circle track 200+ times, unbearably loud to the point where thinking to yourself isn't even an option let alone talking to the person sitting right next to you. However, in the spirit of the Jesuit value of finding God in all things, an observation that I was able to make was in how the racers respond to a crash (not the crowd because that's the most exciting thing for the crowd). What I observed whenever there was a crash on the track was the pace car made its way out onto the track in preparation for a restart and all of the other cars waited for the crash to clear. Here's the connection that I made: especially in our culture, we're all going around and around, often times completely unaware that the people around us are...well other people, not just brainless jerks who get in our way and slow us down on the freeway. In the development of my own personal faith life, one of the things that I realize that I have grown in is recognizing when a friend is really down, or has "crashed." What I have learned and really taken to is that getting to the finish line isn't the entire point of life; being there to help others finish the race is equally, if not more important. Realistically, this was not the reasoning for this rule or practice in NASCAR, but I do find it interesting that such a strong Christian ideal can be found amongst an obnoxiously loud sport with seemingly no real point.


The other awesome part of the weekend was simply the time spent with my best friends. Honestly, getting up at 5am throughout the weekend is not my first choice when it comes to recouping after a long week. But it was, and is always, so awesome to simply be present with my friends. Referring to my struggle early on in this semester in which I was just in my own little world much of the time, I believe to have learned quite well the importance of living in the moment and trusting that my future is in the hands of my Father. My life is infinitely more enjoyable when I entrust myself to Him and enjoy the life with which He has graced me rather than worrying about what is in store for me 7 months from now.

Geezer, Habitat, Homecoming

Well, the blessings just keep on coming. I had a little bit of a breakdown in the middle of the week getting overwhelmed with all of the work that I am involved in, but the weekend came soon enough and had another memorable one.
Friday kicked off the weekend with "Geezer Fever," one of the sorority's date parties. I was invited by the wonderful Colleen Smyth. This was my favorite theme party I have ever seen. Everyone was just so into it - there were walkers with tennis balls, walkers with toilet seats, gray hair, and retired folks...all dancing to the modern-day rap and hip-hop music. It was hysterical. Then we went to Chubby's for fourth meal (not the typical 2am run that college students often attend, rather, the geezer late-night meal at 10:30pm).

The next morning, I was up early to head to a Habitat build down the road from Rockhurst University. The best part about the day was that there was a perfect amount of volunteers there for the number of volunteer leaders. Typically, with builds like this there are simply too many hands for the work, but I got to work one-on-one with a leader as we hung doors and laid base board around the house. And, although I was not working directly with them, one of the things that I really like about Habitat is that they have the people who will eventually live in the houses help build them. It really gets the volunteers more involved in the lives of the people whom they are helping. And it gives those who are receiving the help a feeling of accomplishment as they play such a large role in the construction of their own home. It was a really great way to spend time with my fraternity brothers for the day - serving others.
The finale of the weekend was capped off with the homecoming dance. Firstly, I went to dinner at P.F. Chang's on the Plaza with Nate Olson and David Wallisch. Then on to downtown KC. The highlight of the night was a tremendous honor. I was voted homecoming king. I was just...well incredibly humbled. The thing is, I feel like that honor is not like in high school where people vote for you because you're the "cool kid on campus." There's more respect in it than that and, again, I cannot say how much of an honor it is to have been voted for it. Praise God for whatever gifts I have been given that made it so.